The first time I saw Micky was when I went to the breeder to pick him out of the litter. There were 4 puppies there all together: 3 black boys and one little white girl. The little white girl was the perfect poodle - white with all black nails, lovely coat etc. She would have been the perfect show dog. My mum would have loved her… But when I walked in there and saw all the puppies I fell in love with the under dog… All the puppies were jumping up wanting to play and impress their potential new owner… All except Micky. He showed excitement but was a little withdrawn as if he was thinking “I have tried all this… No one ever picks me, I’m just going to sit here and hope for the best…” I turned to the breeder and said “I want that one” and pointed out little Micky. The breeder looked a little shocked. She breeds amazing show poodles and he was hardly the perfect specimen. He was much too small, his black coat was not rich and thick, but rather a dull grey/brown growing in thin tufts and he had long gangly legs. The breeder turned to me and said “You know he’s the runt dont you?” I did, but didnt care. He was who he was and I loved him right away for his imperfections.Micky didnt have the best welcoming party, as when I showed him to my Mum she was still heavily mourning Abby and could barely even think about another dog. I used the excuse of my Mum, but really he was for me… When Abby died she was all I had. We had just moved to a place I hated (but now fondly call home), I had no friends, felt awkward in my new house and barely knew the new people I was living with. Abby was my salvation and I just didnt know what to do without her. Mum always said that Abby was an angel who came to our family to teach us all how to love again and bring us all back together. Mum is really right, Abby did do all of those things, but she departed before I was ready. Mum was finally happy and could go on without her, but I was just lost. I still needed her more than anything and she was taken away from me. Because of all of this, I needed Micky… But Mum couldnt deal so he went off to live with Adam. Luckily not too long after, Adam went travelling so Micky came to live with us on the farm where he belonged all along.

I moved on not too long after and had to leave him behind while I went off to finish high school and uni. The dogs were always on my mind and I loved coming home to see them. So many times over the years I was away I received phone calls from my Mum informing me of various accidents Micky had been in… A grass seed lodged in his head, kicked by a cow, fallen off the back of a ute, fallen off a boat and had to swim to shore, fallen from upstairs to downstairs onto solid concrete… And finally the dog attack. He lived through everything - I just thought he would get through this also.

I have always just felt an extra special connection with Micky… even though I love our other dogs also, Micky just always represented something special to me… Even though at 13 years of age Abby was my best friend and I needed her, and her blood ran through Sophies veins, Micky was meant to be my new best friend… Someone to get me through the times that Abby wasnt able to… Its just so hard to imagine life without him now. It doesnt matter to me that I am now 23, married and “all grown up”, I still needed him. I feel like all the dogs that touched our lives were meant to move on after they had done what they were put here to do, and I almost feel robbed that I cant find my own personal reasons that they had to leave ME. Selfish? Maybe… But I dont know what else to think or how else to feel. I know I have my own special babies who each represent something amazing to me, and although that means the world, I cant help but think why we all had to be robbed of Micky.

Lilie came to me when I needed her… And she really needed me. She was abused and neglected and just needed love. I couldnt go on another day without having a dog of my very own to love and care for, so we were meant for each other. Frankie came to help us all… and to help Lilie a lot. Combined, they both taught Michael about the love of a dog, no matter the size or breed. He’s grown to love these dogs like children… When we first got Lilie, Michael didnt even want to touch her because she wasnt a “manly” dog… she was small, white and fluffy and wore a pink collar. Michael didnt want Frankie either, but it didnt take long for them to form a very special bond which I see every day.

Michael took to Micky and Sophie very quickly also, and although he’s being very strong helping me deal with my grief, I can see that he is grieving too… His reasons may be different to mine but they are reasons nonetheless. Michael looks at Micky as a dog who represented something to him… The first dog that was not his own, who he could appreciate for a brilliant personality and a lovely character. Before meeting him, he would have just been another dog to him, but now that he knows the importance of animal love, he sees that, and he really saw that in Micky. Micky helped Mic to realise that every dog is important to its family and every dog has love. Mic loved Micky and thought of him as his family because they are both part of mine.

I am not totally sure how to deal with Micky’s passing… I know I need to be strong for my Mum, but I’m just not sure how to do that. I feel a very strange emptiness and that void isnt even filled by looking into the eyes of my own dogs. Looking into the eyes of Lilie and Frankie fills my heart with love, but also a great sadness. I know it will all pass and in time I will find a way to deal with it, but for now I am just stuck and lost. I want to be there for my Mum, but I am afraid of showing her just how sad I am because I dont want to make it worse for her. Right now I think I just need to push myself to focus on the now… No matter how hard that is. Micky wasnt a dog - he was a member of a family - our family, and losing him feels just as terrible as losing any other member of that family. Dog or not, he was an amazing friend and family member. I will miss him terribly forever. Hopefully in time the piece missing from my heart will be replaced, but even then he will never be forgotten.

Until next time…

On Saturday afternoon we lost a very special member of our family. Micky was attacked by a cattle dog on Saturday morning and broke his neck. The cattle dog picked him up by the neck with no warning and gave him two massive kill shakes before dropping him in a heap on the floor. Mum rushed him into the vet but it wasnt looking good. The vet didnt want to move him too much so he put him on a heat pad, packed his wounds full of antibiotics and gave him a lot of pain killers. He took some x-rays of him a few hours later and shortly after Micky slipped away in his sleep. The x-rays showed breaks in his vertebra and he would have been fully paralyzed. I went in to visit him a few hours before he passed away and he couldnt move at all. He only moved his eyes to look at me while I was talking to him. He let out a few soft moans and tried to fight for his life…

Mum and I went through his things yesterday and collected smooth river pebbles to mark out his grave under the pine tree next to Abby. We also ordered granite headstones for both Abby and Micky - something we had been meaning to do for Abby for some time now.

I just cant stop thinking about him… I cant believe he’s gone. It’s so surreal. Micky was just larger than life - even at 3 kilos! He was such an amazing dog… No, he was an amazing family member. He wasnt just a dog - he was well and truly part of the family. I can barely describe how I feel without him here. The world just feels like a much emptier place without him. I dont think I can write any more about it right now… Maybe later.

I love you Micky.

Today Mic bought me the sweetest little zebra finch which he has told me “needs” to be called ‘Finchette’. I wasn’t sure that I was ready for another bird, but I knew that the longer I left Horatio by himself the less chance he had of surviving. Finches are very social birds and really can’t live alone - especially after having a partner for so long. I was worried that the longer I left him on his own the weaker he would get… And I don’t know what I would do if he died too… I felt so bad leaving him a room on his own without me or any of the dogs cos he would just call out at the top of his lungs and my heart just broke thinking of him sitting there in the dark by himself… So I guess Finchette is more of a present for Horatio than she is for me!

Finchette is settling in well with her new “husband”. He’s showing her the ropes haha! They are sitting together at the moment sharing a carrot stick… Too cute! I will try to get some photos of them later, but its so hard as they never sit still!

Well then, until next time…!

Elroy is the newest addition to our family. He came to live with us in December 08 when my Dad, Step-Mother (more commonly known as “Shma”) and my little sister Amber moved to New York City. Elroy is 13 yrs old so couldnt make the journey with them as he isnt well enough. He’s a funny old man… He annoys the heck out of us, but we love him for it. He cries and barks all the time for food (all he thinks about 24/7) but then gives you this cute look and you just cant be mad with him haha! He’s here to live out the rest of his golden years with us here in the country… He’s loving life chasing butterflies and napping all day… What could be better? Here are a few of my fave pics of Roy… The last pic is of Lilie and Frankie in bed on a Sunday morning in winter…

Today while I am mourning Caine, I thought I should focus on the other amazing animals in my life. As I have done a post for Lilie, I thought Frankie and Elroy should have their own…

Frankie is the funniest dog I have ever met… he’s one of those dopey smart dogs… One who acts dumb but is secretly plotting world domination. He came to live with us when he was 8 weeks old. (He is now 2 - 3 this year). My brother bought him for me as a gift for helping him out with something… Best gift ever! He makes me laugh every day and night… He’s a real Mummies Boy - he always needs to have some part of his body touching mine…

Here’s a few pics of my funny man…

Elroy’s up next…

OK, so Greg came and helped me out with Caine. He put his little body back together for me a cloth lined white box. Mic and I will bury him near the river later on today. I feel all down about it. Earlier I was uber sad and extremely angry. Now I am just nothing. I really love my animals… Its very difficult to put into words how I feel about them. I would literally do anything to keep them safe and if I ever find out who did this the result won’t be good.

I don’t understand people who have such little regard for life. Animals are living creatures. Just because they cant say “No. Don’t. Owch. Stop” and fight back like people can doesnt mean they don’t feel pain and have emotions. As goes my ‘famous’ saying: “Animals are people too.” I am not jaded enough to actually believe my animals are humans, but is the harm in loving them as I would love a peer? I know my animals have feelings - they all have very different personalities and are all little characters. They are individuals and I love them for that. Anyhow, I don’t really want to talk about this any more. Hope everyone in blog land is having a lovely Saturday afternoon…

I woke up this morning to find one of by birds, Caine, decapitated and floating in his water bowl. His head was floating next to him and blood all over the cage door. There is no way an animal could have done this. The cage is always secured with pegs so that other animals can’t get in to them. The peg was replaced after the death in a different spot to where I originally placed it. So to me, this means that after the pubs shut and the masses walk up to Maccas past my house, some sick f*ck has come in and done this to my beloved bird.

I am so sick, mad and upset right now. My other bird is in his cage calling out to him. I had to move the water bowl out of the cage and almost dropped it cos I was crying so hard. I have covered the water dish with my birds head and body with a tea towel but I can’t touch it - I just can’t. I called my husband but he just can’t leave work to come and help me… So cue strong best friend to come and help. I am waiting for him to come and help me out now…

I dont think I can talk abuot this any more right now… Will write about it when Caine is safely resting in peace. RIP Caine…

While I am thinking about it I thought I should add in some of my fave photos of my little girl Lilie… (Fur child… we’ll get onto the subject of actual babies later…) I also Have Frankie and Elroy… I’ll do their posts when I sort through all the mounds of photos and find my fave ones for them… Here are just a few of the many photos I adore of Lills…

Lilie came to live with us a few years ago. She is 3 (will be 4 this year) and has lived with us since she was 11 months old. I love dogs and since I moved out of home I had been wanting to get one of my own. Finally, after 3 years my now husband and I found an apartment to rent which allowed dogs. We were hunting for the perfect addition to our family… Turns out Lilie was the perfect one for us. She had come from a family who mistreated her. She was chained up, beaten and not fed. When she came home with us she was so skinny and terribly afraid of everything. After a few years she is much better, but we still have a long way to go. She has trust issues with new people and can’t be around dogs she doesnt know. (In fact it’s very hard to get her to get to know a dog because she becomes quite violent with them).

Here is my little angel Lilie…

Until next time!!! ……..